Plumb.
We neutered our dog Cody on Monday and I'm distraught.
I really didn't think it was necessary.
He doesn't exhibit any aggressive behaviour.
He doesn't mark his territory in the house.
I have yet to see him defile a human leg.
I've seen him attempt to mount both male and female canines alike. He seems to have been born a free spirit.
I do admit to catching him engaged in promiscuity with his pillow now and again but I went through the same phase in High School.
With all that being said, we didn't opt to go with the full castration option but rather a fairly new, non surgical, non invasive procedure called Zinc Neutering.
Basically, the procedure involves an injection into each testicle.
With a needle.
In each testicle.
Gulp.
This is Cody after the procedure later that day.
My six year old said, "Dad, Cody's balls look like a plumb."
Yes they do.
Supposedly this is normal but that doesn't make it any easier forme him.
Cody has been sedated for a couple of days now but I suppose when he comes around he might want to have a short conversation with me.
I anticipate it going like this...
Cody: Hey pop?
Me: Hey buddy.
Cody: Do you have something you want to tell me?
Me: Not really, no.
Cody: Really? Nothing?
Me: Not that I know of.
Cody: Nothing to do with my balls?
Me: How so?
Cody: Have you seen my balls recently?
Me: I don't remember really.
Cody: Why aren't you looking at me?
Me: I'm sorry. I was distracted.
Cody: By my balls?
Me: No, I thought I heard something.
Cody: COME ON!!!
Me: WHAT?
Cody: DON'T FUCKING CONDESCEND ME MUTHERFUCKER!
Me: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Slow down.
Cody: Slow the fuck down yourself a-hole. You call yourself a father?
Me: I know you're upset but...
Cody: UPSET? UPSET? Upset is when you run out of cheese.
Me: When have I ever run out of cheese?
Cody: DUDE! MY BALLS ARE FUCKING PURPLE!!!
Me: It's temporary.
Cody: TEMPORARY? I TEMPORARILY SAT ON MY BALLS TWELVE TIMES TODAY!
Me: I've done that.
Cody: Shut up.
Me: It could be worse.
Cody: Oh really? How?
Me: I could run out of cheese.
Cody: You ran out of cheese?
Me: I'm totally messing with you.
Cody: Dick.
Me: Sorry buddy.
Cody: Whatever.
Me: Want some cheese?
Cody: YES! I love cheese!
I really didn't think it was necessary.
He doesn't exhibit any aggressive behaviour.
He doesn't mark his territory in the house.
I have yet to see him defile a human leg.
I've seen him attempt to mount both male and female canines alike. He seems to have been born a free spirit.
I do admit to catching him engaged in promiscuity with his pillow now and again but I went through the same phase in High School.
With all that being said, we didn't opt to go with the full castration option but rather a fairly new, non surgical, non invasive procedure called Zinc Neutering.
Basically, the procedure involves an injection into each testicle.
With a needle.
In each testicle.
Gulp.
This is Cody after the procedure later that day.
My six year old said, "Dad, Cody's balls look like a plumb."
Yes they do.
Supposedly this is normal but that doesn't make it any easier for
Cody has been sedated for a couple of days now but I suppose when he comes around he might want to have a short conversation with me.
I anticipate it going like this...
Cody: Hey pop?
Me: Hey buddy.
Cody: Do you have something you want to tell me?
Me: Not really, no.
Cody: Really? Nothing?
Me: Not that I know of.
Cody: Nothing to do with my balls?
Me: How so?
Cody: Have you seen my balls recently?
Me: I don't remember really.
Cody: Why aren't you looking at me?
Me: I'm sorry. I was distracted.
Cody: By my balls?
Me: No, I thought I heard something.
Cody: COME ON!!!
Me: WHAT?
Cody: DON'T FUCKING CONDESCEND ME MUTHERFUCKER!
Me: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Slow down.
Cody: Slow the fuck down yourself a-hole. You call yourself a father?
Me: I know you're upset but...
Cody: UPSET? UPSET? Upset is when you run out of cheese.
Me: When have I ever run out of cheese?
Cody: DUDE! MY BALLS ARE FUCKING PURPLE!!!
Me: It's temporary.
Cody: TEMPORARY? I TEMPORARILY SAT ON MY BALLS TWELVE TIMES TODAY!
Me: I've done that.
Cody: Shut up.
Me: It could be worse.
Cody: Oh really? How?
Me: I could run out of cheese.
Cody: You ran out of cheese?
Me: I'm totally messing with you.
Cody: Dick.
Me: Sorry buddy.
Cody: Whatever.
Me: Want some cheese?
Cody: YES! I love cheese!
